Cleaning My Closet

I used to hear "new year's resolution"  whenever New Year is coming.    I remember our teacher in school asked us to list down all that we wanted to get rid of and change in our life.    Mine was to hold my temper and not to say the F*** and S*** if am mad and if I did I have to say sorry to myself.    Sometimes, I am still trying to hold my tongue. 

So,  what is your new year's resolution?

Mine is to clean my closet.    I have many clothes that are not being used which piled inside the closet. They are still good and just worn a few times.    What is the use of keeping those clothes if I am not wearing them?    Give them away, they may serve a purpose on to others.   Not so easy because I used to wear them, felt comfortable and maybe even look good on them, but I have to get rid of them so that I can have space for new ones.

The most difficult indeed is to clean the deepest personal closet.     The same thing with my clothes in the closet,   I have to rid of what was rotten in deep inside of me so then I can have the space to fill it with good ones.

Who can tell me that it is easy to forgive?   It's not easy but what is the use of holding personal pain.  I love myself and please forgive myself for hurting the deepest me.   I will not let myself to feel more down. 

I was not born to understand other people's lives,  I may be a part of their lives and be an instrument.  Everyone else is so busy wondering about their own life and so do I.   I have to learn to fix myself,  like how others are busy understanding and fixing themselves. 

Thanks for the pain that other people had caused me.   If I am not special like the decoration that people carefully nailed on the wall to prevent its falling and be still,  I would not be hammered and nailed.   The wall where I was hammered and nailed served as my backbone when I can no longer stand. 

I am forgiving myself but not the people had caused it,  like me, they have to forgive themselves.   Least will never win my trust again.   Thanks, fellow human for being an instrument in understanding life.   Like my old clothes,  I am throwing the pain,  will never wear it back and will not have the same kind of clothes again. 

No one is responsible for our own life but ourselves.

No matter how ugly life is just look around and say how lucky you are. 

Head up.    Get up.    Take a deep breath.    The sun is smiling. 

Life is beautiful.  Life has more to offer to teach us.

Have a clean closet.